AggressiveArtist

I'm just kidding, but it has been over 5 years since I've done anything on this hellsite, and I'm feeling nostalgic so what the heckie, I'm back!

I'm not really into any fandoms at the moment so I think what I will focus on is redrawing some old artwork and putting them side by side to showcase hwo much I've grown as an artist. It's literally been so long guys, I don't know how many of you still follow me and or use this site. But to those who have stayed and are seeing this, HELLO I'M BACK!

I'll try to update here at least once a week with some scribbles and whatnot. Hope you guys are enjoying your christmas break!

I'm back again!

After many months of soul-searching and calming down from raging very hard at everything I think I beat back my ruts!
I've been so focused on how my stuff had been insulted that I really didn't feel like drawing anything or writing anything. In fact I debated about deleting my DA all together along with my FFN account. But thanks to my girlfriend I was able to see what was my problem was. I was so focused on becoming just good as the people who insulted me that when all that stuff happened I couldn't do anything because the people I respected as friends... weren't people I wanted to be like anymore. I'd rather be the kind than someone who steals and berates someone who looks up to me.

I know, I know. I am very bad at realizing things and I was very very pissed about what happened. I'm a woman, I hold grudges for a very long time. But now I am past it and ready to do some work.

I'll be working on K-ON fanfics again starting with a little one-shot called "Return" look for that if you're still following me on FFN. It's a cute little fluffy fic and I know a lot of you will enjoy it.

I am also working on Hearts of Steam and Steel again, and I have molded it into something I love and I can be proud of again. Lots of revamping and shit, but I am happy once again with the characters. Be on the look out for a lot of art from that coming as well.

So I am sorry I disappeared again, I am also sorry I raged so much last time I was on, but that won't happen again.

Some of you may notice the lack of art or any news on here recently. You also may have heard about the rut that I am in. I can assure you that I am drawing, but I don't feel like putting anything up.

Because of certain events I don't feel like posting anything, I don't feel like showing my work any more.

The rut I'm talking about is the rut of writing. Ever since SSF fell apart my will to write has been dead. No sugar coating it, it's just gone. I've been telling myself that I don't want to blame anyone that I can get myself out of this, but the truth is... maybe I need to talk about my feelings in full and what I am planning on doing.

Ever since SSF got disbanded I've been working hard on my own story. Sadly I haven't been able to write anything just draw and design. Which you would think is good, but what's a story without words? Well I've been trying to sort out certain feelings I've been having and to be honest most of my ruts come from being very angry and upset with people.

I'll be honest, when SSF was disbanded it was the most angry I have been in my life. I worked hard on that story and I worked hard and writing what I did write. To have people I admire tell me I didn't meet their standards and that my story shouldn't have my characters in it really upset me and really mad me angry. I tried so hard to push those feelings away and tried hard to be supportive of them in their story, but it's very hard. I didn't like being so angry at friends that I couldn't look at anything they did.

So when I finally got to the point that I could look at their artwork and stories once again... they stop talking to me and acknowledging that I exist. I don't know why I've asked privately many times without answer. I kept hopping it was cause they were busy and didn't have time to answer me, but they continued posting comments elsewhere that made me think otherwise.

So, those feelings of anger and pure rage started to rear it's ugly head once more.

I don't want to feel like this or make anyone else angry in the process and I feel like a clean sweep of every thing is in order.

I look at my gallery and just feel that bitter anger all over again.

It's time to shut it down.

It's been 7 years and I've never been so ashamed of myself or my work.

I doubt anyone here really cares so, maybe in a few days this will be gone...

So all those things about me writing and stuff....

May have to wait till I'm bored with the new Star Wars MMO. Swtor is just....so much fun XDDD

So that's why I've been inactive. Please forgive me I'll try to get SOMETHING done before the new year... I hope XD

I get a full version of the K-On song Singing for my birthday. *le happy*

Not only that I'm grateful to have such a wonderful girlfriend here for my birthday as well and I wouldn't have been as happy as I am right now had she not been here. So many things happened in just a few short months that I'm just super grateful for her continued support and love.

I wanted to thank everyone for a wonderful  birthday and let you know I'm not dead, just in a massive rut.

I'll try writing something.






Maybe.